شاید لحظاتی طعم خوشبختی را چشیده باشم، شاید برای خوردن یک فنجون چای در کنار چیزی که به اون عشق میورزیدم، فرصت نداشتم، شاید آنقدر روی ماه را زرد کرده باشم تا رنگ شب را نبینم، ولی امروز احساس خوشبختی نمیکنم!
نه، بدتر خوشبختی را نمیشناسم!
روزگار گذشت و گذشت، زمونه مثل برق و باد رفت و من از پیـَش دویدم، لحظه لحظه خود را پیچیده و پیچیده تر کردم تا بفهمم خوشبختی را گم کرده ام!
حالا نه دیگه برگشت ارزشی داره و نه موندن و نه جلو رفتن، خیلی چیزها و خودم مهم بودن که من زندگی را گم کرده ام
The doors are never closed to us at all times. Sometimes they are shut, sometimes ajar and sometimes wide open. This is life. Those who have a steady life and don't experience the ups and downs of life are the most boring people on the face of this earth. from your writings I think you are far from boring.
پاسخحذفSometimes our bad experiences later turn out to be something that we cherish and remember fondly. I tell you one of mine -- I try to shorten it, as it is very much involved and long.
About 10 years ago, I had summitted Kilimanjaro and was on top of the moon and thought I was the happiest person alive, the next day, the last leg of the trip at about 12,000 feet I fell in a ditch, broke my right arm, blood was coming out of my left hand and I was all by myself since my guide had asked if I could continue for a while by myself and he would catch up with me later. My water bottles around my waste had broken and I was covered in African red mud. I was screaming for help for more than 1/2 hour when 4 Americans found me and stayed with me until my guide arrived an hour later. I walked in that condition for more than 7 hours down the mountain. I thought of this day as the worst day of my life.
The last KLM flight had left Arusha, the nearest town to Kilimanjaro and it would be a week before the next flight to Eurpoe. I asked to go to Kenya, but I was told it was dangerous to travel at night. The next morning at 8:00 AM I got on a bus full of all sorts of people including those who were drinking alcahol in the morning and left Tanzania for Nairobi in Kenya. There was Martial Law in Kenya and I got myself to Nairobi hospital. Due to the termoil in the country all the foreigners were trying to get out. I learned how to deal with rejection at the Nairobi international airport as I would go there but would be turned around as the planes were full. Then I had to fight to get my bed back at the hospital as I had nowhere to go.
Now I think about that experience fondly and miss Kenya, Tanzania and its beautiful mountain. There are times that I walk and all of sudden I smell somthing which takes me back to the hospital room in Kenya where I smelled the wood people were burning and that puts a smile on my face. I look at the large incision, almost a foot long on my right arm which has a large titanium plate in it and I don't think I would trade this experience with anything. If I had the option of having stayed home and played it safe and did not have the permanent scar and almost a foot long titanium plate over my bones with 12 nails inside my arm, I would still choose that trip and I would bear all the pain and suffering again. I miss Africa so much and will go back again some day. So, the worst day of my life turned to be one of the happiest memories of my life.
We never know what will happen next and that may be the exciting part of life.
There are plenty of dumb happy people around, but I would never exchange my experiences with them.
Also, happiness is subjective, I have seen children in Latin America swimming in muddy holes looking the happiest children despite poverty, which is rare to find in advanced coutries despite all the facilities they have at thier disposal.
احساس عمیقی از خوندن این مطلب بر آدم مستولی میشه، من به روی دادن اتفاق، اعتقادی ندارم، به انتخاب ناخودآگاه رویدادها اعتقاد دارم...
پاسخحذفتجربه ای نه کاملاٌٍٍ مشابه دارم، تصادف کردم و یک هفته بیهوش بودم، یک وانت مرا که بر اثر خواب از جاده دور افتاده بودم، پیدا کرد و به بیمارستان آورد، آنچنان بدنم داغون و صورتم خونآلود و باد کرده بود که تو بیمارستان شلوغ، پذیرش درست و حسابی نداده بودن، شاید از خیر زندگیم گذشته بودم، رئیس بیمارستان دوستم بودم و وقتی منو تشخیص داد دستور شدیدالحنی برای رسیدگی صادر کرد، پس از یک هفته بیهوشی، با بدنی که از سر تا پا گچ شده بود رهی سه بار عمل شدم و تو دو تا پاهام پلاتین گذاشتن و ....
شیش ماه نمیتونستم روی شونه هام بخوابم وبایستی طاق بار میخوابیدم و کار و زندگیم تعطیل شده بود ...
مینای عزیز نمیخوام با این شرایط با دشواری ک بر تو، تو تنهایی در کشوری غریب و حتی در حال جنگ مقایسه کنم، خیلی خیلی بد شرایطی داشتی و خوب استقامت کردی ...
به هر شکل امروز که به گذشته فکرمیکنم، میتونم غربتم را با تو که غریبتر بودی تقسیم کنم، آیا این قسمت کردن خوشبختیه؟